


warmth and home

by determination



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Blind Ignis, Canon Compliant, M/M, rated T for Too emo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 16:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15198611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/determination/pseuds/determination
Summary: In the aftermath after leaving Altissia, Ignis and Gladio try to deal with their feelings.





	warmth and home

**Author's Note:**

> i made myself really emo writing this sdkghsd  
> usually i stay away from angst and the like bc i'm really bad at handling it so idk why i did this to myself?? but i started thinking about how much gladio cares about ignis, and how the game never really elaborated on why gladio was extra mad post-altissia events, like you can infer it's because ignis got hurt but... that got me thinking that maybe the reason gladio is upset is because he feels like a failure as a shield because he cares more about ignis than about protecting noctis, and then he feels even worse because he couldn't be there to protect ignis...  
> so yeah im emo and i love gladnis and im posting this at 4am because i have no self control and i dont want to think about this stuff by myself lmao  
> i'm working on some more fluff so hopefully i'll finish that soon and have it up to make up for this lol  
> anyway, thanks for reading, and no criticisms or critiques please!

Off the train, Ignis hears the sounds of leaving. Noct is gone. Prompto is gone. Gladio is-

"Gladio," Ignis says quietly. He's not used to being ignored, not by Gladio. Without his sight, he has no idea what Gladio's expression is, or where he is. For all Ignis knows, he may have stalked off already, but he hopes not, if the lack of footsteps is anything to go by. 

He's scared. He doesn't want to be. 

He hates this tension, hates thinking that Noctis is by himself without any support, after having lost someone so dear to him. He hates that even Prompto, sweet Prompto, had succumbed to the somber mood, closed himself off from them, his usually cheerful remarks now empty. 

He hates that Gladio is angry and he doesn't understand why. 

He wants to hate that his sight is shrouded in darkness. But he can't. 

He feels powerless.

He feels alone.

"Ignis." Gladio's voice is rough, stark in the silence. It reverberates in Ignis' skull like the ripples of a large stone tossed into a still pond. 

He's drawn to that voice, seeks out the warmth of Gladio's large hands. He finds them.

"Gladio, please. Talk to me." It's a plea, desperation dripping from each syllable. He doesn't want to be alone. He doesn't want to be shut out. "Please."

He traces the palm of Gladio's hand with delicate fingers. The skin is familiar, calloused. A plane of sameness when everything else has changed. 

After a while, Gladio catches him, gentle as he holds Ignis' smaller hand between his own. Ignis leans forward, relieved as his head meets the broad surface of Gladio's chest. He breathes deeply, takes in the familiar scent. 

He finds a safe place here, enveloped in Gladio's warmth. 

He lets Gladio lead him, somewhere, wherever he's going. A quiet place where they're alone, the sounds of other people fading.

Once more, Gladio's voice breaks the silence. Ragged, emotional. "I'm so sorry, Iggy."

He hates that sound. 

"Why?" he asks softly. His heart aches, spilling like a flood from his chest. He longs to see again, to know just what face Gladio wears as he lifts his arms to hold Ignis.

"For everything." An answer that isn't. It wants to tell all while revealing nothing. It swims into the empty space in Ignis' mind, another ripple in the darkness.

"Gladiolus... please," he tries again, quiet, unable to keep the pain from his voice.

Gladio's chest heaves as he takes a deep breath. Hesitant, deliberate. He's stalling. He can't find the words, and Ignis understands. He knows how hard it is to express these feelings. 

"Because I wasn't there." Slowly, the words tumble out, gaining momentum. "Because you were hurt. Because you can't see anymore. Because all I'm good at is losing my temper. Because I'm pathetic. Because I'm a failure."

His heart throbs. Each admission is a jab, a knife through the brittle wall Ignis had tried to put up. He wants to understand. He doesn't know where to start.

"Do not blame yourself," he murmurs. He lifts his arms, searching for Gladio's face. He feels the familiar roughness of his beard and gingerly cups his cheeks. "I made my choice when I wore that ring. I do not regret my decision, not when I know it helped save Noct's life."

He wants to mean it. He does, to some extent. But the insecurities, the fears, they needle their way into his heart and carve away at his resolve until he wonders if he shouldn't have tried to find another way. 

Gladio takes a sharp, unsteady breath. His hold around Ignis tightens. There are more words piling up in his throat, but they seem lodged there, unable to reach the surface.

He wants to encourage, isn't sure how.

"You are not a failure, Gladiolus."

Another sharp intake of breath, and he wonders if somehow he'd said the wrong thing. Gladio's arms disappear around him, hands now gripping his shoulders. "I am." 

There's so much in those words that Ignis feels winded for a moment, like a strong wave had washed over him. There is no room for argument. But still, he tries.

"You're not."

" _ Ignis _ ."

He shudders. That tone is too dark, too full of sadness. It hurts to hear it. He wants to understand.

"Why?" he whispers, pleads.

Gladio falters. Something like a sob escapes him, and he lets go. There's space between them now, Ignis can feel it. He tries not to immediately reach out, desperate to bring back that warmth. He waits.

"When I... when I left you guys to fight Gilgamesh, I thought I was doing it for Noct." Gladio is quiet, anger and sorrow making his voice rougher. "I wanted to be stronger. I thought... I wanted to be the perfect Shield. A Shield worthy of the King. But it was pointless. I was wrong."

Ignis' heart hammers in his chest. He wonders if it's as loud to Gladio as it is to him. 

"What do you mean?"

A shaky laugh, and Gladio feels further away. "I was wrong, Iggy. I was  _ wrong _ . I was stupid. Gilgamesh was even stupider for believing me."

Refusal to accept the separation urges Ignis to step forward, hands searching. He finds Gladio's back turned toward him, gently explores with hesitant touches. Gladio shudders. 

"Explain it to me, Gladio. Please."

The silence drags on. He can hear Gladio thinking, trying, searching for the words and coming up dry. 

"It's... complicated- no, it's stupidly simple. I'm an idiot. I was never cut out for this. This role, this task, this journey, none of it. My motivations were never the same." He turns, taking Ignis' hands again. The warmth makes Ignis' skin sing. "How am I supposed to be the King's Shield when he's not the one I want to protect?"

Ignis' heart stutters, unsteady in his chest. "What... do you...?" 

The question remains unfinished. 

Lips pressed softly to his, the gentlest of touches that makes him want to cry. 

And then the feeling is gone, taking the warmth with it.

"Don't you get it, Iggy?" He sounds so tired and broken. "I can't ignore my feelings. I've failed. I failed Noct, and I took it out on him. I failed you. I'm useless."

_ No, you're not _ , Ignis wants to say.  _ You've never been useless. You're not a failure. _ But his voice won't come out.

He wants so badly to see. He wants to see Gladio's face, to reassure him. He wants so much.

In that moment, he forgets. There is no King, there is no destiny, there is no urgency, no mission, no barriers. 

He reaches out. Empty space, empty space. He grasps for something, anything. To ground him, to pull him back to the safety of Gladio's warmth. 

Connection. Gladio's torso. He feels, allowing the touches to build the image in his mind, to fill the desire to see him. Traveling, investigating. Familiar arms, strong, reliable. Neck, taut as he fights back whatever emotions he's experiencing. Chin, cheeks, nose. He finds eyelids, locates the scars. He holds on, desperate, scared that if he lets go, he'll lose it all. 

"Ignis," Gladio chokes out, the name full of everything he feels and everything he's trying not to. "I'm so sorry."

"As am I," Ignis whispers. He's so tired. Scared, lonely, empty, full of darkness, full of emotion, full of love, full of longing. 

For the first time, he lets himself feel it. He lets it shake him to his core, a tidal wave in the dark. The tears fall, angry and bitter, stinging.

Warm fingers try to dry his cheeks. Clumsy, gentle.

"Don't cry," Gladio says. "Don't cry, Iggy. I'm sorry."

Words fail him.

The unfairness of their circumstances, their fates intertwined with the True King. He loves Noct, cares deeply for him. He never deserved this. None of them did. 

And in the future, he knows what's to come. It makes his whole body tremble with an uncontrollable sorrow, desolate and crushing.

Gladio isn't the only one who feels like a failure. 

"I love you, Gladio," he murmurs, voice raw. 

"Don't-"

"No, let me say it. Even if this is the only time, let me say it." Ignis presses against Gladio, reaches up and finds Gladio's neck, pulls him down to connect their lips. He gives in quickly, kisses back with a hungry need.

"I love you," Gladio says. The words send a tremor down Ignis' spine, so full of emotion. "Fuck, I love you so much. I'm in love with you."

Ignis drinks in each word, welcomes them into the empty darkness like a beacon of light. 

He shudders as Gladio's hands grip his waist, pulling him closer, rough, desperate. The warmth is enough. A home, where none had ever existed. 

They can't be close enough, can't touch enough, can't kiss enough. Ignis forgets everything, forgets how to breathe. He focuses on the warmth.

Gladio holds him like he's the world. Reverent, worshipping. More tears stain his cheeks, and Gladio kisses them away.

In that moment, there is nothing. In that moment, they are alone and they are nobodies and they are lost in love and sadness and they have found a home in each other.


End file.
